"We sell the ultimate feel good products.And we reckon our bestselling MANFLU goodies could genuinely prevent you from turning into a zombie too. Thats our 100 per cent, legally binding guarantee."
AN enterprising Cheshire firm has become the world’s first to claim their products can stop you turning into a ZOMBIE.
If you do find yourself succumbing to a shuffling member of the undead horde this winter, fear not.
Because UK health and wellbeing company MANFLU are offering a first-of-a-kind ‘100 per cent guarantee’ that they can end your taste for human flesh, while also nursing you through the cold winter months, too.
The team, led by founder Jonathan Evans, specialise in rescuing fellas from their seasonal slump.
And they’re so confident in their claims Evans says MANFLU goodies can even halt the tide of a deadly curse that’s only - as yet – seen in horror movies.
He said: “We sell the ultimate feel good products.
“And we reckon our bestselling MANFLU goodies could genuinely prevent you from turning into a zombie, or turn you back into a human should you ever be unlucky enough to get munched on by an animated cadaver.
“If you accidentally become a zombie and taking a MANFLU product doesn’t put you right, contact us @manflu or via manflu.com and we’ll give you your money back – which you can use to spend on some fresh brains down the butchers.
“That’s our 100 per cent, legally binding guarantee.”
MANFLU, headquartered in Warrington, aren’t the first pioneers to offer zombie-proof items for sale.
Last year a Leeds-based shed manufacturer brought to market a £70,000 ‘Zombie Fortification Cabin’ that came with riot gear, CCTV, and a ‘ten year anti-zombie guarantee’.
And the Machine Gun America weapons store in Orlando, Florida, has been holding regular ‘Zombie Apocalypse Days’ to train customers in how to hold-back a tide of the walking dead…just in case it were to ever happen.
The good news, though, is that a zombie outbreak is looking unlikely, for this week at least, with bookies Ladbrokes offering odds of 2,000/1 of it occurring.
For MANFLU, the secret to the survival of the human race is in their vitamin-enhanced goodies.
Their ‘Daily Defence’ drink has more than twice the amount of Vitamin C in it than nearest rival Berocca and 66 per cent more zinc to support the immune system – a vital weapon in your arsenal against the zombie pathogen.
The MANFLU Hot or Shot drink stocked in the likes of Boots, Sainsbury’s and Asda contains more Vitamin C than 12 oranges – 1000mg, plus Echinacea and Zinc.
And should your entire family by consumed by a marauding back of cadaverous biters, you can take solace in their new product, Soup ’a’ Hero – the most comforting chicken soup in existence with a special blend of 13 vitamins and minerals, protein, fibre and a kick of spices.
Evans adds: “MANFLU products will stop you becoming another rotting man-corpse in the event of a doomsday scenario.
“But you could also invest in a survival training course from Bear Grylls or Ray Mears, just in case.”
Zombies, made famous in flicks like director George A. Romero’s 1968 classic ‘Night of the Living Dead’, aren’t just the stuff of make-believe for some experts.
Doctor Ben Neuman, a virology professor at the University of Reading, says he lives in fear a zombie-style virus could one day rear its ugly head to threaten humanity.
He recently explained: “There are parasites out there that get close to making actual walking around zombies.
“There are more viruses out there than we will probably ever discover and I bet that somewhere out there in nature something like this is happening.
“If you look at rabies, it completely changes the way a dog behaves. It’s transmitted by bites, it leads to madness, convulsions, and so it’s not really that far-fetched.”
And he reckons we should all be keeping a watchful eye on the world’s monkey population for indicators of the impending Judgement Day.
He adds: “If monkeys start going crazy and doing very strange things there may be an infection behind it and that’s the one we’d have to watch out for.“
Meanwhile MANFLU has a growing number of celebrity fans and customers, including I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! star Amy Willerton, British Bake off star John Whaite, The X Factor star Ben Haenow, 2015 Ginetta GT4 Supercup Champ Tom Oliphant and stars from TV such as Corrie favourite Antony Cotton.